the wonders of caffeine

SCOREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha. that's how i felt after i finished my psyc exam. =P not to be proud or anything. but i really felt that God was with me. and whether i get a distinction or a high distinction, i'm more than happy to receive it! though there were some questions that i had no clue wad theory or wadsoever, i felt happy doing it. in fact i was smiling retardedly to myself. HAHA! and after i finished it and as i tried to figure out those i was unsure of, and guess wad? i suddenly remembered the theories and wad drugs were meant for which disorder etc. how cool is that. =D i love my God.

"through you i can do anything,
i can do all things,
cuz it's you who gives me strength,
nothing is impossible!"

the funny thing that happened today. i was supposed to wake up at 6am to study, in the end i woke up at 652am. anyways to cut the long story short, i did some mcqs, went to eat breakfast then i got a pack of old town coffee from my friend and i made a cup of it. i think the cup was too small for the amt of coffee powder there was cuz for the next 3 hours i was ultra hyper, fidgety, restless, crazy, everything! ANDDDDD!!!!!!! i went to the toilet 10times! 10!!!!! every half and hour or so i had to leave my table and online mcqs to go to the loo. that's 200ml of urine causing a stretch in the urinary bladder therefore triggering the micturition reflex -> pee time. 200ml x 10 = 2litres of pee! omgg! the wonder of caffeine. amazing.

after the paper, i was so happy still that i went "jogging" with my malaysian friend mui mui down to the swan brewery. actually we were like jumping , hopping, dancing all the way and screaming along the way. =D and cuz the wind was too strong, it was almost impossible to jog back, hence the excuse to walk and enjoy the nice scenery of the swan river. this is such a great day to be living. hooray.

prayer

dear Jesus,

calm my nerves.. help me to overcome all these mcqs. amen...
oh and get HD for my psyc later. amen!

your daughter,
yihui

submission + obedience

today i learnt a new level of submission and obedience. i realised that sometimes, the things that God has called you to do might not be what you wanna do. at first i thought so, like i asked God "why does it have to be so hard?! isn't it supposed to be easier? like you give me the passion or desire to do it and then i'll do it happily?" and today, i remember Jesus at the garden of Gethsemane and i remember Abraham who had to sacrifice isaac. both of them did not like what God asked them to do (and i believed they both struggled big time) but they submitted and obeyed to His ways. They chose to obey He whose ways and thoughts are higher than ours.

so today, no matter how i felt, no matter what i thought, it did not matter. God mattered. living for Him and making Him happy mattered to me. and so i chose submission and obedience. and i know already that he will bless me, and his anointing and power will be upon me.

"obey, and later you'll understand. but if you try to understand first, you'll never do" mike connell

blessings

Thank you Jesus for blessing me with such great friends =D and dear Lord! i pray that ivy's gonna ace her english exams on monday, because she is highly favoured by you. AMEN

history maker =P

i'm making history! i'm not going to sleep tonight. i wonder how long i will last. but i must type this post to prove to everyone i am still awake. HAHAS. i enjoyed the msn video chat and skype with my 3 wonderful friends =D missing home so much! miss you all so much! officially 30 more days!!!!!!! bring it on!

self righteousness

a thought came to my mind recently. do you think that christian leaders sometimes get so caught up in self righteousness that we forget our purpose as his disciples? it can include pastors, missionaries, cell leaders, catholic priests etc. i think this statement is true.

i was talking to one of such leaders recently, and he was telling me bout how he helps out in a home for the homeless. and does some counseling there and this and that. and it struck me, does God really care about HOW MUCH we do for him? like really. i think sometimes we as leaders get so so so caught up in our world of i'm doing God's work, or doing something good, that it becomes very self edifying. it makes us feel good that we are doing God's work. we lift ourselves higher than we really should. we think more highly of ourselves than we really should.

"Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall.
Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly,
Than to divide the spoil with the proud." (Proverbs 16:18-19)

and yesterday as we were closing off with a song during ocf cell, Romans 5:8 suddenly became so real to me, that "God demonstrated his own love for us, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us". i realised then, that i am also a sinner (not that i didnt know, but it was a big reminder), i needed God as much as everyone else. and if i have called into his glorious riches, it is truly a privilege, a privilege that must be shared and not kept hidden. it doesn't mean that when we become christians we become "better" than non-christians. no way.... and it doesn't mean that as christian leaders that we are "better" than the members of the church. i am nothing without Christ, but in Him i have everything, and i am loved. and i serve the church and his people because God's love compels me to love others just as he has loved me.

dear lord, forgive me and every other christian leader who has served out of self righteousness and self edification. teach us to serve and love from your perspective and lead us in the paths of righteousness. amen.

love <3

wow. i thank God for liangsheng. though he is full of rubbish most of the time... he just gave me some VERYY good advice so that i don't get into trouble. pheww. and i think... over the past few months here in perth, i have come to appreciate his friendship a lot. (don't get me wrong for those of you who don't know him. hahas. he is happily attached =)) which brings a thought: wad's everyone's thoughts about platonic friendships? i've yet to come up with a conclusion. but i think it depends on who. i think. hmmm.....

car says i never blog about my days... soo today i will....i've been studying in the library since 1pm. turning into a nerd. yay to me. i don't like studying the nervous system. so hard! today in psyc lecture, they were talking about the different types of love and what determines whether a relationship will stick.

basically there are 3 types of love: romantic love (intimacy + passion), companionate love (intimacy + commitment) and consumate love (intimacy + passion + commitment). now you can ask yourselves what kind of love you are feeling with a certain person. haha! anyways. each type is a weak indicator of whether a relationship will stick, (of course you'd think that consummate love is the highest level of love) rather a good indicator is how couples move from one type of love to another. so true eh. it just simply means how you grow together as a couple.

and.... how to maintain close relationships is by the type of attachments you form with each other and equity. A secure attachment style is better than anxious or avoidant. as for equity, it is a condition in which the outcomes people receive are proportional to what they contribute to it. well maybe i don't fully agree with this because i feel both parties gotta give 100% and not 50% each to make 100%. but i think wad they are saying is perceiving equity. anyways, just a random statement i rmb from last sunday's sermon, God created eve not from adam's head that she should rule over him, not from his feet that he should trample over her, but from his rib, that she should serve beside him, under his arms to be protected by him, and close to his heart to be loved by him... awww so sweet right! hahas

so that's about it for today's edition on love. hahas. i miss you guys back home. EVERYONE of you. i'm coming home SOOOOOOON! =D

TODAY

i think i'm back in the game! i've finally KINDA caught up with my psychology readings. 4 more looonng chapts, but 3 weeks to do it. not tooo bad! i think psyc always made me think i'm lagging behind. but now, it's okay. just got to keep my mind focused the next few weeks. 19more days to exams, finish on the 9th of nov. i wish i could say 29more days to home, but i decided to stay here longer. to play touch and enjoy the country. hahas. so! i'm coming home on the 24th in the weee hours of the morning. can't wait! YAY! (bar chor mee here i come...hehehe)

yesterday as we closed in prayer in little groups during ocf, i asked my african buddy to pray that time will pass faster so that i could go home. and when he prayed, he chuckled and said "dear God i pray you remind yihui that there's 24hours in a day which cannot be changed, i pray that she will concentrate on today and live for today and not think bout tomorrow. etc etc" something like that, and i think it's sooo true! so many times i get caught up with tmr, with the coming week, with my future that i forget about living the now for Christ. to give him the best i can give TODAY. to love him TODAY, to appreciate his wonders TODAY. there's so much to praise God for TODAY.

"Don't run away"

10 ‘If you will still remain in this land, then I will build you and not pull you down, and I will plant you and not pluck you up.

13 “But if you say, ‘We will not dwell in this land,’ disobeying the voice of the LORD your God, 14 saying, ‘No, but we will go to the land of Egypt where we shall see no war, nor hear the sound of the trumpet, nor be hungry for bread, and there we will dwell’— 15 Then hear now the word of the LORD, O remnant of Judah! Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: ‘If you wholly set your faces to enter Egypt, and go to dwell there, 16 then it shall be that the sword which you feared shall overtake you there in the land of Egypt; the famine of which you were afraid shall follow close after you there in Egypt; and there you shall die." Jeremiah 42:10-18

"Don't run away" you said. and that's wad i'd do. i thank you for your promise that you will build me, plant me and grow me where i am. i believe you have a reason for placing me in such a terrible, trying and tiring position. It literally feels like i am torn into 2 worlds, one of grace and one of law. but i believe that both can work hand in hand and i'd be able to find a balance in the two. do we not see grace in the law?

ultimately i pray you root me in your word and make it my firm foundation. i pray for unity and against disunity. i pray for forgiveness for our pride. i pray for love and understanding. i pray for a fresh revelation of the unified body of Christ, ie the church. i pray that holy spirit you guide me in the right ways. i pray.

today i learn to pray.

blackhole

Deliverance from the Black Hole
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
09-30-2009

"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5b).

A black hole is a place of total nothingness. It's a time in our life when God removes the resources and supports that we normally rely on to feel secure - our careers, finances, friends, family, health and so forth. It is a preparation time.

When you find yourself in a black hole experience, don't just sit and brood. Take stock of your life. Take a look at your relationship with God.

First, ask God if there are any sins, habits, or attitudes that He might be judging in your life. It's important to discern whether the trial we face is the result of God's discipline for our sin?or if it is preparing us for a future leadership role.

Second, when you enter a black hole, don't trust your feelings. Trust God. Your feelings will tell you, "God has rejected you. Abandon hope. He has left you utterly alone." Feelings change; God never changes. Feelings come and go; God is always with us.

Third, remember that your black hole experience is not only intended to refine and define you; it's also intended to influence and change the lives of hundreds or even thousands of other people. Our adversity is not just for us, but others in our sphere of influence.

Fourth, don't try to hurry the black hole process along. Remember, when Joseph was in the depths of the pit, there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't climb out, jump out, levitate out, or talk his way out. All he could do was pray and wait upon the Lord.

Fifth, lean on God. Even when you don't feel like praying, pray. Even when you don't feel like reading His Word, read. Even when you don't feel like singing songs of faith, sing. When you pray, don't just talk; listen. Be silent before Him and listen for His still, quiet voice.

Sixth, be alert to new truths and new perspectives. During a black hole experience, God often leads us to amazing new discoveries. A black hole can be a storehouse of unexpected riches for the soul.

-WOW-