opened doors

everyday i find myself looking down and around. looking at the circumstances. but each time i do that, i must remind myself to look up! God's promises are yes and amen.

revelations 3:7-8
"These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name."

we lose perspective when we lose sight of the promises of God.

and thank you God for opposition, because it makes me depend on you all the more.

God is bigger than the boogey man

you can throw all kinds of crap at me,
you can make me feel sad, hurt and upset
but you aint gonna take my soul
which trusts and hopes in the Lord.

you can turn people against me,
you can cause an uproar,
but you aint gonna take away my choice to love.

you can spit at me,
and you can take away my "name"
but my delight is in the Lord,
i will look to Him always.

my God is bigger,
MUCH bigger,
MUCH MUCH bigger,
than the boogey man! =D

i love you jesus.

Where is God?

Today at children's church:

teacher: Where is God?

kid 1 luca: in heaven!
kid 2 tori: in our hearts!

i whispered to kid 3, jayden: everywhere...
kid 3 jayden: i know, he slept with me!
me (smiling): jesus slept with you?
jayden: yeah! he slept beside me last night!


ohmy! how cute can that be?! such child like innocence. so adorable!!

Holy

that ten, fifteen minutes i had with you were the most holy moments i had since forever. you oh God ordained it all, you orchestrated it since the beginning. your words are so precious to me and your word so holy that my fingers could only dare to flip those pages.

could any other love this deep, could any other travel through time? search me and test my thoughts. make me who you always wanted me to be. mould me in your likeness.

this is what i'm living for. let's do it.

needa pray and believe

Thinking through, What to do
You're searching every angle and point of view
Good advice, well rehearsed
Only seems to make matters worse

When you're at a dead end
Where do you go?
My friend, there's an answer I know

Pray, when the road is steep
Pray, when you're hope gets weak
Know the Father hears through
The silence and the tears you

Pray, when you don't know how
Pray, heaven's waiting now
And Jesus is just a breath away
Pray

The deepest sighs, Of the heart
Sometimes it's a struggle when we first start
To wrap our needs up in words
And trust that somehow we will be heard

Draw near, and know you are loved
God hears, and his heart is touched

PRAY FOR THE STRENGTH YOU'RE NEEDIN'
TO GO ON BELIVIN'
No matter what you face
You'll have the wisdom and the grace to..


need your strength to go on believing. believing in the things unseen despite everything else that's happenin'

your grace still amazes me

you've captured my heart once again. you are my reason for being. i'm sorry i've walked away. i'm sorry i've hardened my heart towards you. i don't wanna walk alone any longer. i don't wanna try on my own. i need you to hold my hands.

today as i've confessed that i give you my EVERYTHING. reignite that fire in me. renew my vision. reinstate me as your child.

your grace and your love is deeper, wider, stronger and higher. Higher than what i think, higher than my ways, higher than my understanding. i put my trust in you.

i need to go. will you let me go?

update

it's been.... omg. only 17 days since i got back? hahas. feels like forever. but i've got 25 more days to my easter camp... REALLY SOON! gonna meet my beloved pj. yayyy.

well the new semester brought new challenges. i found myself struggling with friendships. weird. never did before...but in this desert land, as much as i can safely say i've got loads of friends, i felt alone. i felt that no one understood me. i felt that there was no one to stand beside me as i made certain choices. i felt that i was alone in making good godly choices and standing by my values. i felt that car was just very very far away... literally.. i felt that all of you reading this, were all too far away. i don't know. it was just quite hard. but through it, the first 1 half weeks or so, my heavenly friend brought new joys into my life. opened more doors to meet new ppl. (actually i kinda secretly like meeting new ppl though i think it's tiring at the same time. i can't decide) He assured me even of our divine friendship. that he was only a whisper away.

i also found myself struggling to prioritise! interesting eh. before, church was church, if friends go out on church days. don't disturb me. but here i am finding myself threading the thin line of should i or should i not go? maybe i was struggling to find acceptance. with the disguise of wanting to reach out. but prob not. there are a lot of ppl out there who want my time. time that is limited, time that is precious and cannot be replaced. it could only go one way. to cut the long story short. it was between ocf and river cruise, tennis intercollege and church on sun (but a special international student sunday). i struggled with it for DAYS. hahas. stupid. but at the end i decided on church. and by default i'm going for ocf.

i've come to the realisation. that this sem, my main ministry, main calling is to do the camp, and to do it well. anything that stood in the way of me being a good head is NOT good! hahas. my mission field firstly now. is my camp comm. i should invest my time into them, more nowwwww than my other friends. not that the other ppl are not impt but this is the circle of influence i have right now and i should do it well. my new year resolution this year to grow intentionally in my calling requires intentional decisions made against my will. anyways by default i'm going for ocf cuz river cruise tickets ran out. hahaha. i'm actually quite lazy. and didnt really feel like going.

as for why church not tennis. there was no relational impt that i had to go tennis. it was for commitment and support that i wanna play. plus fun. in terms of relationship building. church won hands down. THERE ARE GOING TO BE PREBELIEVERS WE'RE INVITING! so. that i made up my mind to do that. =)

i guess i wouldnt say i've gotten it all right. prioritizing is truely a skill and there's no right or wrong to it. please keep me in prayer. cuz i'm really still in the midst of learning these life lessons. goodnight.

camp is coming on well =D

just wanna say...

i'm missing YOU! =D

what more can i say?